sonyaany
Joined: 22 Dec 2015
Posts: 45
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 Posted: 30 Mar 2016 09:51 Post subject: pandora bracelets grandmother charm |
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I have been living with my partner for six years, and I realized recently that I want to get married to her. This is somewhat of a surprise, since I swore off the whole enterprise after the first one failed, but she's worth it, and she deserves a proper proposal. (I'm posting anonymously because she reads the site. Hopefully she misses this one!)
The big snag now is that I'm not sure what to do about the ring. Pandora Clearance Store Engagement rings bother me for a couple of reasons:
B) They scream 'status signal'. She and I are both relatively well off, but I really don't like that I'm Pandora Ring expected to advertise that fact. (She rolls in pretty fancy circles though, and I don't want to Pandora Bracelets shame her either)
C) The diamond market is so rigged, I feel like I would be funding a crooked regime. (I'm mostly committed to choosing another gem as the centerpiece)
D) Lastly (and most shallowly), I really don't like the look of the "leveled up" ring pair (that is, the wedding band worn next to the engagement ring) that seems to be the fashion these days. It looks awkward, and it completely overshadows the subtle "shared bond" symbolism of the wedding bands. OTOH, you can't not where an engagement ring that cost thousands of dollars.
I should point out here that as far as I know she does not share any of these hangups. I haven't broached the subject because I don't want to ruin the surprise. (We have talked about marriage itself. She's willing.) My read is that she will be happy with whatever I choose, but I don't want my moralizing to taint her (first) experience.
I've come up with the following options:
1) suck it up and buy something nice.
2) use a surrogate (A neclace? Broach? Temporary ring? Hallmark card?) and pick out nice wedding bands together instead
3) fire up Maya and try to design my own, custom ring setting (which could either be awesome or disastrous)
I know this is a matter of taste, and the most important vote hasn't been cast. That said, I'd like to get a poll of the Mefi opinion on the matter, and I would be very happy for other suggestions I haven't thought about. I've read previous related threads, and there are some good suggestions, but I'm having a hard time gauging whether it's a good idea to stray from the script at all.
Our future relationship depends on you! (not really)
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (82 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Depending on her sense of humor, pop the question with a joke ring and then go shop for one together.
I think that if she loves you, she will love what you do and treasure it always.
posted by the young rope rider at 1:00 PM on April 3, 2012 [15 favorites]
Does she have a sister or close friend that you trust? Ask her to poke around your beloved for an idea of what she would want (without being obvious, which is sort of hard!). Barring that, do you know any people getting married? Any big engagements in the news these days? Bring it up as innocently as you can and see where she takes it.
Gem wise, maybe her birthstone or a stone perhaps naturally found in a region of the country/world special to her?
posted by troika at 1:02 PM on April 3, 2012 [1 favorite]
For what it's worth, many other colored gems and precious metals have ethical/political/environmental problems. If that's something you worry about with diamonds, choosing a different gem doesn't necessarily mean the problem goes away. Do your research and look for ethical options if it's important to you.
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:04 PM on April 3, 2012 [2 favorites]
I'd recommend discussing it with her and seeing what she would prefer.
One thing you could consider is getting engagement rings for both of you. This way, when you get married, you both have complementary double rings.
My wife's engagement ring, rather than being a big "ideal Pandora Clearance Online cut" diamond, is a band of rectangular emerald cut diamonds (, but nicer without so much heavy hardware and, yanno, not from Sam's Club but that's the general idea). Emerald cut diamonds are, I think, a better value because they are valued mostly based on clarity rather than brilliance. So you can get more carat weight for your dollar. Also, we felt that it matched very well with the simple wedding band.
posted by slkinsey at 1:05 PM on April 3, 2012
It cost me $85 to have a beloved candy machine ring turned into a real precious metal ring. She wears it as her wedding band now, but the original idea was sort of half jokey/half serious. Pretty damned creative, and, wow, did I get off cheap. |
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